promises of a better day.

Well well well, we meet again and this shall be blog #4 i will only keep track until 5 so this is the decent into my ending of numerical traces.
Let us begin the story shall I? Now this is my story of promises and a personal life I plan to stay in, regularly I would march forward without any thought of what the future may bring, but now I have ambition to plan before I walk a treacherous road through unknown territory. My loved ones, their hope, and determination to see me succeed is what made me realize this light at the end of the tunnel. Promises are a hard thing to comprehend when it comes to me, you see I never thought they meant anything, people would promise each other things that I could not understand I failed so many in my life, lost friends I care for and never thought of what consequences it could bring. This blog is for the one person I care for the most she has held my hand in the darkness and pulled me from my depression I know it is hard for me to understand her feelings at times and i end up doing more bad than good but how i care for her means more to me and helps me realize that i cannot do anything alone anymore. Brianna Marie Murphy is my reason for trying. My lover, my life, my entire existence, and everything I am today is because she believed and still believes in me, she had hope for me when no one else did, she risked her sanity to deal with the lump of a man I am, the pain I endured she endured with me, the crush of defeat from a previous life she was there for me. I love this woman more than I ever thought I could anyone, so to her I make this promise, I promise to always love you with the care, the patience, the pain, and the time you had gave for me and to always give you the love you deserve just like the love you gave to me.

                                                     

                                                 i love you baby and don't you ever forget it

Answered my question, Within a question?

Hello my pleasant readers whomever you shall be, this is blog #3 fitting how the numerical sign is in fact the 3 on my keyboard. all my blabbering aside i would like to get to the brass tax which in my case is about my family; My family has this history, the history being that my mother is always right even when she is wrong which is a majority of the time but if we correct her we are wrong which seems to be the case with most mothers, her favorite saying when i was growing up 'i guess in a sense i am still growing up' was that life long classic "do as i say not as i do" this was the basis for every argument she ever had with the younger generation being my brother (Tyler), my cousins (Brandon, and Kelsey) and of course myself, but as we got older her terms of reasoning where let us say daft, perhaps even preposterous that may be stretching it but none the less. As we got older and more difficult to control with words and empty threats alone she became a hypocrite doing everything she told us not too, in such cases she told us to never text while driving, always wear your seat belt, do not smoke, or drink, or gamble, you know the regular parent routine. Yet she did all of these things, and the phrase she used to make sure she was right even though she was wrong, do you know? why it was none other than "do as i say not as i do" it is really tasking trying to keep up with her sense of righteousness she has to always be right the point i am trying to get across is parents do stupid things to don't blame it on the younger generation for starting civil disobedience , or becoming serial killers for acting out when all "WE" want is attention, when parents are going out trying to reclaim their youth, drink heavily to block out the bad day at work this is only causing stress and anguish on the ones they try to protect. Now that i have my session of seriousness out of the way i want to talk about the randomness in my life and how the people around me produce it. i could be sitting in the dining room minding my own business either talking to someone or playing on the laptop when bam i am attacked with an array of questions and have no answers to them, like how long ago was it when you last cut your hair? HOW DO I KNOW?? randomness yes it is in everyone's life and everyone deals with it in different ways. Now dun,dun,dun the pinnacle of my blog the height of interest in this long gratuitous post is in fact questions. questions? You might be asking yourself but yes questions, i have asked people questions and they would answer me with a question this i do not understand, are you trying to pull my strings, are you trying to be annoying, or do you honestly not know how to answer my question? There are multiple reasons why someone would answer a question this way, maybe they brought your sexuality into question, maybe they had probed into your subconscious and pulled out a long lost memory you had hoped to forget, then again this person is most likely not a psychiatrist, but my point aside, why would someone answer in this way no i am no psychiatrist but i am a very good helper i will listen to your problems and help you find a better solution "I am the everyday handyman for your emotional needs" i just wanted to make my own super hero notion there, but getting to the resolution here i want you my readers to ask me questions, i want you to build up the most imaginative design in your head a mental labyrinth if you will and ask me whatever you want i will do my best to answer them but until then see ya'

personal life is a given.

so this shall be blog #2, keeping track is ideal however not necessary. Anywho getting on with the post this one shall be about my personal life, granted it is not imaginative but it is a fun one. Contrary to belief i am in fact a wizard, and yes i have proof. here it is every time i am sitting around just minding my own business a song will pop into my head, no this is not the proof but what happens next does, i will be minding my own business and bam the person next to me will instantly start singing the song i was just thinking of you have no idea how powerful i am -nods head and raises eyebrow- this has happened more than once so i came to the conclusion i can make people do what i want by simply thinking about it, perhaps i can manipulate others through a psychic wave length i do not yet completely understand, maybe i can scramble the minds of enemies i do not agree with perhaps i can rig the Presidential election to where i am elected instead the next in line i do not know, but what i do know is that i am a wizard with the psychic wavelength to manipulate others.

Moving on, i have realized that i have been having my chronic headaches more than usual it has been a thorn in my side and his hindered my ability to go outside and have fun due to the fact that the sun burns my retinas during this time and the possibility of me exploding from the sheer site of the sky makes me question my existence as a human being, let me explain in vapid detail. I have a irrational pain to the site of the sun, I cannot stay out in the daytime without suffering from a headache, finally the only thing that quenches my hunger is the taste of blood now don't get me wrong it would be delightful to be a vampire but i am not, i am certainly human, (sorry preteen fans of vampire love stories) so in conclusion to this random gibberish I have been uttering I am a human being.

Drawing an end to my blog of the night I would like to make a couple shout outs, and decelerations. 1st my friends whom i hope is reading this, if not fuck you too haha just kidding loving you guys. this goes out to Brandon Acton, Johnathan Beals, (distant relation to Jessica Beals, but not really) Christina Richart, -whom i recently became very good friends with over the last few months- Jesse Lanning, Jimmy Rattenbury, (who has been very supportive and loving to these friends of mine and I) and last but not least all the friends I have made in the last year who have supported my decisions, helped me through the tough times, made me laugh and smile in times of need, who I have been able to turn to if i was ever in trouble or needed help, and who has loved me for who I am. To you my friends I say I love you and without you I do not think I would be here.

So this is the end of the blog if you enjoyed it and most of my cunning, quippy, fundeful, and heartfelt grammar mistakes follow me and my blog as I post more about my life, and the lives of those who I hold dear. message me on facebook.com and inform me if you would like to hear anything secretive or hidden in my life as I shall be posting about these things eventually, give me your thoughts about my next blog and what it should be about I love you all and hope to hear from the few readers I may or may not have.

Warlocks & Noobs

Hello, people this is my first blog, oh and is it a crazy one? well as you may come to think from the title, no no it is not but it is rather long so sit down (as im sure you are) as i tell you this tale. 

not too long ago as i was struggling through one of my anger issues as i usually do i stumbled upon a notebook, and it was not just any notebook but a list of things i wished to do. the notebook had a gratuitous amount of ideas, and objectives i wish i would have completed when i was younger being the ripe age of 19 now i have not missed much but i made this list when i was 14 i had more drive and ambition when i was younger than i do now, and it made me think "have i lost my direction in live" i was going to graduate high school with honors, go to college and get a degree in gaming, i was going to minor in culinary and start my own restaurant with friends, but sadly i have done none of these things so i have decided to correct these wrongs in my life and continue my ambitions with a vengeance.

As i look forward to my collective ideas of what i will do first, I start with this blog giving to light my decision to make my life more bearable. and on that note i turn to my family for advice, my cousin whom i have looked up to for the last 5 years of my life, my mother to whom without her i owe my life, my brother who constantly pushes me to better myself without these select few i would not have come to this decision. Finally i would like to thank my family, and my Girlfriend Brianna Murphy she has given me hope to strive and be the best i can and to that i say thank you.